We all have dreams, however, not many choose to go and chance them. Why not? Because there is so much risk of failure. Not only is there the risk failing your dream, but you may be scared to fail to support yourself financially, fail to give enough attention to those around you, or fail to complete other goals you’ve set out to accomplish. I, myself, have an enormous fear of failure…..so why the HELL did I decide to enter the entertainment business? I guess because my drive to succeed is stronger than my fear of failure.
When I decided to start modeling at 23, I already had six years of specialized training and experience in my field of work, and a career I was passionate about. When things didn’t work out at my last job, I decided I needed a change. I was burnt out and felt I had invested my entire early twenties in a career I was already at the top of, and I failed in the end. I made a decision to live out the rest of my twenties as if I’m, well, 20-something! Us millennialls are so driven to move up the ladder so fast, we seem to forget about our dreams and aspirations.
Thehe re seems to be a snag in my “YOLO” plan. MONEY! A girl has to make a living while still building her resume doing student films and trade for print shoots to build up the resume and portfolio. With my professional skills, I was lucky enough to find a great part time job in my field of expertise. I (so far) have been able to balance the life in the entertainment business with my “day job” but have had to back out of professional opportunities in order to NOT set myself up for failure.
I know there will come a point in time where I will have to choose between my two passions – work, or “the biz.” Until then, I will keep taking one day at a time and hustle my way to the top!
keep curvy and stay curious
Hey Curvy Girls!
But at the same time, I’m asking myself, “why am I here at work instead of out doing what I love?” Good Question. Reason is – I am doing a buttload of money trying to break not the business. Let me break it down for you:
I had a horrible experience on a go-see for a model gig the other day. Once I made it to Manhattan, the only place I was allowed to park were princely lots, so I spent the damn $30 to park because traffic had me running a whole hour late. Once I got there, she looked at my photos, resume, and measurements, and without saying a word, handed me pack my packet and told me I was too big for their line. Normally, I think, “eh, no biggie,” but this time, after all the trouble I went through, I broke down and cried out of frustration. Not because she said I was too fat, but because I had spent so much of my hard earned money and hard to come by free time on nothing.
Because of my anxiety, and the fact that I love so close to the city ( in NJ) I choose not to take the train or bus, but the cost isn’t much different. Currently with the number of auditions and bookings I get in NYC here is a breakdown of my modeling and acting related expenses:
- Toll to NYC: $14 x (approx) 3 days per week: $42
- Gas: $20 x (approx) 4 days per week: $80
- Parking: Up to $30
- Total Weekly Expenses to go on auditions and modeling gigs = roughly $150.
Of course, however, this does not include the cost of headshots and Comp Cards, event tickets, etc… So how is one supposed to become a model or actress and not live the starting artist” lifestyle? Not to mention the fact that in the last few months I have barely been home between work and auditions, and now it’s coming to a point where I must choose between my work and my play. I may not believe in a higher power, but if I am meant to be something big, it will happen soon. If not, then I guess it will be time to let go of my favorite hobby. Isn’t it a shame I can’t have my cake and eat it too??
Keep Curvy and Stay Curious
Overcoming Fear and Failure with Stacey Vornbrock – Tune In to “The Juicy Woman” TONIGHT (8/21/13) @ 8PM
Does it feel like your feet are stuck in quicksand because you’re terrified of risking rejection or failure? Are you frustrated
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