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“Fat Chat” with BIG NATE

Hey Curvy Girls! Are you curious to know what your best asset is, in a MAN’s opinion? What could you work on to look your best, or figure out what your man might be thinking about that thing you’re too embarrassed to ask?

Well we were blessed enough to find Big Nate, who is here to answer all of our burning questions about ourself, our bodies, and what men really think about us “thick” girls. No BS – only #REALALK happens here!

To find out what Nate thinks, email your pictrue and/or questions to OR on Facebook OR contact BigNate directly at his section on Curvy And Curious – “Fat Chat with Big Nate”

It’s All About Attitude – How to Get the Guy

I recently became happily engaged to my partner of more than two years. Though I’m only 24, I feel like I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince.


Growing up, my BFF (fellow curvy girl as well), was a powerful Type-A social butterfly. We may not be close now, but my whole teenage life pretty much revolved around our antics together, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without having her in my life. If she’s reading this, she knows who she is – Let’s call her.. Vidalia. 😉

When I first met Vidalia* she was my idol. She looked older and had been through a lot in her life before we met in 6th Grade. Her self-confidence was something I hadn’t experienced before, still to this day.  At first, it was intimidating – especially when she quickly became the most popular girl in school.  She had a way of commanding attention when she walked in the room, and she got any guy she wanted.  She was friends with everyone at school.  I thought the popular girls are supposed to be skinny, athletic, etc., but she broke the mold. Both Vidalia and I were both big girls with big personalities, I always wondered… Why her and not me??

To be honest, I often got jealous of her and all the attention she got without even trying. We would go to the mall and walk around, hoping to be approached by a guy or two (or three…).  Guys would whistle at her as she walked by, and one day I just said it: “Why you and not me?” She simply stated, “Do you look available?”  It became an inside joke – every time we’d go out, we’d say, “Do I look available?” and burst out laughing.  In the back of my mind, I still wondered, what makes you look available?

After observing Vidalia closely for nearly 10 years – following her on adventures and having all kinds of fun – I’ve come to realize that her attitude – the way she carries herself , the way she leaves the house without makeup or hair done and not give a fuck, her spontaneous personality, and outrageous sense of humor – were what drew people to her.  Gotta admit… maybe sometimes we may have gone a little too far trying to get the guy (you don’t want to know).

Now that we’ve both ventured off into adulthood and both settled down with the men we will marry, we’ve both taken the time to look back and weigh the lessons we learned from our crazy, reckless, teenage years. We’ve both ended up with people that were the opposite of what we dated back then. Know what that tells me? When you try to “look available” you’ll be getting plenty of attention from guys that, frankly, are looking for an available vagina. Let your confidence take over it do the work for you. Some people, like Vidalia, are naturally confident. Others of us have to chip away at our outer layer for years before that inner shine will come through, and when it does, it will have been well worth the wait.

Until you find your inner Vidalia, go ahead and have fun. Make mistakes and learn from them. When it comes to sex, it’s great to explore but always be safe. A baby or STD sure as hell won’t give you the confidence you need. Still remember, life is a never-ending journey to find yourself.

Keep Calm and Stay Curvy

The Strange Ways I Lost 80 Lbs. Without Trying

I don’t like to talk numbers, because the number on the scale is not always accurate to how you look, but for the sake of this blog I’ll spill the beans.

At my highest weight, I was 298 pounds and wore a size 22. Then somewhere around age 18-19 I magically started shedding pounds. Everyone kept asking me, “what’s your secret????” and I would make up some healthy diet and exercise excuse, when really it was my unhealthy habits that contributed to my weight loss. [Please don’t take this as advice, it’s just #RealTalk]

  1. Quit Smoking Weed.  OK, I guess this is healthy to do, but still a weirdly obvious tip. I’ll admit it – I used to indulge quite a bit, but my misadventures led me into some real trouble which prompted me to get my shit together. When I stopped smoking pot, I stopped getting the midnight munchies. Going to a treatment program or NA meetings after work kept me from munching out of boredom. In about 3 months, I had lost 30 lbs without lifting a finger. That emotional high of losing weight sure felt (almost) as good as smoking a bowl.
  2. Love Swept Me Off My Feet.   My weight fluctuated a bit for the next year or so.  At age 20, I was back up to about 280 lbs. Then I fell flat on my fat ass in love. It was not a healthy relationship. He moved in with me almost immediately (I mean like, same day), before we really got to know each other. I’ve always had insecurities about eating in front of guys I like. It was practically a phobia when I was really young. Anywho, this guy was a total SCRUB! When I wasn’t working, I was driving him around or doing things for him. My diet slowly started weening down to 8 cups of coffee through the day, and a chicken patty on a sandwich for dinner, for about 9 months. During the time we were together, I lost about 50-60 lbs.
  3. Love KICKED My Ass, Hard.     He shattered my heart when I found out I was “some white jewish girl [he] uses for money,” at least thats what he told the other girl he was banging behind my back. and I fell into a deep depression. Immediately after/during our breakup, I didn’t eat ANYTHING for FIVE DAYS. Not because I was being anorexic, I was just so fucking depressed. I had to find something to fill the void, so I found me a perfect rebound boy toy. That was fun while it lasted, and was just what I needed to bounce back.
  4. I Became A Workaholic.     Also right after the breakup, I filled my life with work, work, work. In need of a more professional wardrobe, I went on a post-breakup shopping spree at Fashion to Figure – I mean the works… had the sales women picking clothes for me, went ant got my hair cut and highlighted, the whole shebang. I felt sexy as hell! Besides feeling good about myself for how I looked, I was kicking ass at work too. I was in a very high-pressure position and I loved my job. I also had absolutely no time to eat at work. I didn’t take breaks, besides for cigarettes and coffee runs.

By Spring, 2010, freshly 21 years old, I was 80 pounds lighter and felt sexy, but I didn’t feel healthy. I started having fainting spells. It was scary and dangerous. My blood pressure was very low and I felt dizzy all the time. My doctor said I had a B12 vitamin deficiency, and also sent me to a cardiologist and neurologist. The cardiologist told me that I have small heart palpitations and low blood pressure. I got my brain scanned by the neurologist and it came back normal. The only thing wrong with my brain is my depression and anxiety disorders.

I gained back another 10 pounds, but recently lost five more. This post is a commitment to myself that if I want to lose more weight, I will do it the healthy way.


Keep Curvy and Stay Curious.



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