I recently posted the following message to the public on my Facebook page before I unpublished the fan page for Curvy and Curious.
If you’ve been deleted off of my friends list, you probably either a) think you have what it takes to be a model but never will be; or b) run or take part of some sort of scam “magazine” or “troupe” catering to plus size models, tricking these girls into thinking they have something.
For years I let people sweet talk me into thinking I had what it takes, only to be looked at as thirsty, being asked to do anything and everything for FREE! I participated in runway shows put together so badly it was EMBARRASSING to even put on my resume, and met people who have called me any and every word referring to “white b***ch” (but only behind my back). I’ve publicized designers that then pass me over when the paid work comes in… Been spoken down to because of my race, and been buttered up by nearly every grimey “businessman” I’ve come across.
What I learned in 2014: DON’T follow your heart. DON’T live broke but do what YOU’RE GOOD AT and what pays the bills! If you’re not getting paid to wear clothes you’re not a model. If you’re over a size 16 you will most likely never be a model. Just freaking deal with it! It’s disgusting seeing women in their 30’s and 40’s spending every penny they have on modeling classes. HAH!
Discover what you’re good at, don’t let other people tell you what you’re good at to make their pockets fatter.
I apologize to my readers for falling off the grid, but I must say I prefer life out of the public eye, as I am now honing my knowledge of the modeling industry by working behind the scenes, building my skills behind the camera as a photographer and videographer.
“But I have to admit something: Tess Holliday’s gorgeous face intimidates me. There is no way, short of wearing countless layers of makeup and spending hours at a salon, adding perfect lighting to every place in the world where I might be present, that I could ever look anything like that. If I aspired to beauty like this, I would forgo a lot of precious time and energy to fall very very short.
When I see Tess boast #effyourbeautystandards, it doesn’t mean what everyone else seems to think it means. She’s a professional model, perfectly coiffed right down to her eyebrows. Slathered in makeup with the doe eyes and pouting mouth. To me, this is a contradiction.”
Plus size and full figured models are becoming more and more in demand, especially ever since a Caciqué by Lane Bryant commercial was pulled from the air and web for being too risqué! Now tell me, does this look any more revealing than any Victoria’s Secret commercial?
How many of us big girls can compare to that?? I’m sure some of you are out there are blessed like Ashley, but most of us aren’t.
I needed to face the truth – I’m just not pretty enough to compare to any of the plus models out there on the market. [**NOTE** this comment is NOT self-deprecating. This site is about #REALTALK and I’m strong enough to admit my flaws AND try to overcome them]. No one has ever told me, “you should be a model!” I would walk past the model scout kiosks at the mall, hoping at least a scam artist would try and fool me at least, but not even. *le sigh*
Something told me to just keep going… Keep trying, and eventually someone will see that sparkle of talent that lay underneath all these layers of flub. I must admit, as I hinted in my post, What the #@&% did you just call me?, I started venturing into the BBW fetish world at 17, going on 18. Getting attention for my body felt so empowering, but I soon realized that it was the wrong attention. I’m not turned on by my fatness – I am just me, and I’m cool with that. I met people from dating sites that mostly ended up being hardcore FA’s [Fat Admirers], guys who’ve been told that “fat chicks give good head,” even scored a few hot nights with a tall, dark, and handsome Wall Street fellow that had a secret BBW fantasy. But I didn’t want to be anyone’s fetish or secret. I want to be me. When I finally realized the BBW world wasn’t for me, I decided to just focus on getting my life back together (more on that to come…).
Years later, after a serious relationship gone seriously wrong and losing my job, I had a refreshed feeling of ability and empowerment. I browsed Craigslist for modeling gigs, and eventually started networking and getting some opportunities. I soon realized that being a model (or actress) is NOT easy. Going to go-sees and never hearing back, spending money on headshots and comp cards, subscriptions for casting websites, hours spent sending out resumes and pictures… It is frustrating. I haven’t made it, and I probably never will, but hell, I’m confident in who I am and I believe that’s what sets me apart from the rest. If I make it, great, but if I don’t, I had a damn good time learning.
So to wrap up, I don’t want to discourage any of you curvy, bodacious babes to pursue modeling, but choose your path wisely. Don’t be fooled by scammers and assholes looking for blowjobs (sorry, pardon my French). If you’re serious about making a career of plus modeling, try to stay fit, fashionable, and dedicated. If you don’t have the look, don’t worry!!! Wait for my next article that will cover the world of FIT modeling!
Stay curvy and keep curious.